Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
