Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
