they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Me too!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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