I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
