I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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