He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize