I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
