she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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