Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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