well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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