If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
