I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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