watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
