My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Even my vagina gasped.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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