i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
