omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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