We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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