How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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