That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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