I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
