I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
