after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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