somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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