sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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