In the future we'll all be gay
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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