do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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