In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize