Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
