This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
But theres a keg here and me gusta
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize