In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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