You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
