I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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