i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
