remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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