He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
