i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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