if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
