just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you had me at cake vodka
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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