Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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