at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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