Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Randomize
