that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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