Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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