ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
