I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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