Who did Billy Mays play for?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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