Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
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Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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