so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize