It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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