i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize