dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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