no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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