Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
