Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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