I can't watch pbs sober anymore
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
