Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
