You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
