at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
