Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
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The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
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I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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