She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He passed out mid-signature
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
